TOP 10 THINGS TO DO IN 2020

Hello friends and Happy New Year to you. Below is my list of 10 things you should consider going into year 2020. May you have a Happy, Healthy and Prosperous year!

IN 2020….

  1. Don’t be afraid to call a “Thing” a “Thing.” In the words of Shabba Ranks, “false pretender, stop pretending.” At a certain age, it’s just time out for pretending and ignoring red flags, inappropriate behaviors and such. If someone is disrespectful to you, call them out on it. If a friend/significant other is taking more from the relationship/friendship than what they are giving and it seems a bit one-sided; call that person out on it. Don’t suffer in silence, it will only end badly.
  2. Make it a habit to look for opportunities to give back this year. Proverbs 11:25 “A liberal soul shall be made Fat!”
  3. Take a hiatus from Social Media. Challenge your family members and friends to do the same. “Having a clear mind and a clear space allows you to think and act with purpose” (Erika Oppenheimer).
  4. Know that it is not the problem that is the problem. It is your reaction to the problem that is the problem. So stop allowing the problem to rule and reign supreme in your life and follow instructions given in #5 below.
  5. When life throws you a curve ball…Go get your BAT! No explanation needed.
  6. Don’t wait or procrastinate, start today! Take a step, any step. your future self will Thank You later.
  7. Speak it! Decree it! Declare it! All things begin with a thought. Words matter and words have power. Turn those thoughts into words and set them free into the atmosphere.
  8. Stand Strong! It may not happen over night, but you will bear fruit in “your” season. Question: What have you planted though? Aha!
  9. “Do something today that your future self will thank you for” (Patrick Flaney).
  10. “Consider yourself a pencil in the hands of GOD” (Mother Theresa). Give God control and let “Him” write your story in 2020.

PNINA of Wisdom, The Kings Daughter!

Ma Salama (Good Bye)Doha!

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A little over four weeks ago I said goodbye to the sand box that is Doha, Qatar and headed back home to the USA.  I’ve had some reflection on my journey over the past 4 years and wanted to share 3 lessons I learned from my Doha experience.

#1 Nothing is ever what it seems.

Have you ever had one idea in your head, then started to brainstorm on it and have it expand so much that you hardly recognize the original idea? Or maybe you went to Walmart or Carre Four with the task of purchasing that “one thing” but some how you ended up with like 20 items in your cart. Yes! This completely describes my Doha experience over the last 4 years.   I came to Doha with one purpose in mind and ended up doing so much more than what I originally intended.  Yet, I can truly say that I am more aware, openminded and came out of it a stronger person.

#2 “Traveling is the Antidote to Ignorance” (Trevor Noah).

In Trevor Noah’s comedy special “Afraid of the Dark”, he says something that is very profound.  He states that “Traveling is the Antidote to Ignorance.” I don’t think Trevor means ignorance in a derogatory sense, but ignorance simply meaning the “lack of knowledge or information” about the world (www.dictionary.com).  This lack of knowledge is a key element that separates us as a society; even though in reality we all have so much in common no matter where we live or come from.

I would like to describe it as a deficit of the senses.  For instance, right now close your eyes and imagine a palate that has never tasted your favorite dish. Eyes that have never seen in color, but only in black and white.  Ears that have never heard the ocean waves or the laughter of a child. Can you imagine everything you would be missing?  Your senses would be dull, sealed in a plastic package and yearning to be unpacked and awakened.

If you are relying solely on the local/national news, documentaries and social media to educate you on what you know and understand to be true about various cultures, people, and just for overall awareness; then you just might have a sensory deficit in relation to the world, people, and countries that surround you.  From first hand experience, I would say that nothing (no news cast, documentary, book, photo, or online video) will ever beat the personal experience of setting your foot on foreign soil, tasting exquisite cuisines, or communing with our brethren from various cultures and countries.

So deny your senses no more. Get out and see the world!

#3 Nothings beats the good company of like minded people…but don’t forsake those with opposing views.

I say it all the time and I don’t mind beating this horse to Death!  This is how strongly I believe in this principle. I have yet to find anything that can beat the company of like minded people who are striving toward a similar purpose and goal. During my time in Doha, I cultivated life long friendships and relationships with people from various parts of the world.  Friends and associates who all came together to encourage and support one another. This was my Doha experience and it was a major contributor to my success  and growth while I was there.

What are the benefits of being surrounded by like minded people? When you are surrounded with people with similar goals and purpose, you will find that you fill in the gaps for one another.  Your circle will become one of a pseudo family, not of strife and competition; although you still challenge one another and have healthy debates.  This circle is resourceful and one of networking.  You can always count on the fact that someone in this circle has a resource that can help you with whatever it is your in need  and to push you towards success.

However, let me say this:  I also learned that while it is important to be surrounded by like minded people: It is also imperative to know that we can learn just as much from those with opposing views or different goals than our own.  Communing with people who have opposing views than our own provides us with balance, challenges our thinking and pushes us to think outside the box.  These are the types of interactions that can propel us towards growth and away from the status quo: So don’t shy away from a debate, or an opposing point of view.  Challenge your mind!

I hope you enjoyed this post and please feel free to share and comment.

Living, Loving and Conquering This Life One Day at a Time!

TKD

My Year of “NO!”

Now that 2017 has come to a close, I’ve been reflecting on it and I am so happy with my growth.  The beginning of my 2017 started out rough, but it brought about several revelations. Hence, I decided early on that I would name 2017 “My Year of NO!”

The Revelation: I had a serious problem with “Boundaries” or the lack of having actual boundaries for the people in my life.

The Task:  When 2017 approached, I had an immediate need to establish my boundaries quickly and learn that saying “NO” was not a bad thing.  Without defined boundaries, people were free to come and go and do as they pleased in my life.

Yes, it’s true, saying “NO” to someone you love doesn’t always make you or the other person feel good, but on the other hand, it didn’t make “me” feel good to say yes when I really didn’t want to either.

As a natural giver, I realized that over extending myself to meet the needs of others was a constant in my life.  This could be seen throughout my personal and professional relationships. It was clear that I had a problem with the word NO!  Especially to the people that mattered to me the most.  What was also clear, was that I allowed the feelings and needs of others to come before my own. So much to the point that I didn’t really know who or what I really wanted at times. I was the sacrificial lamb.

Self-Reflection Time

  Ask yourself the questions below:

  1. Do you have a problem with saying NO?
  2. Do you have defined boundaries for the people who may enter into your life and for those who remain in it as well?
  3. Do you say yes to your family, friends or coworkers even though you want to say NO out of feelings of guilt?

If you answered yes to these questions, I won’t bore you with the details of my process.  Instead, let me give you three advantages of establishing boundaries and utilizes the word NO that can change your life.  (See advantages below)

Freedom

The feeling you get when you say NO to something you don’t want to do is astounding.  I mean really, it is a liberating feeling.  Drop that weight honey and you will be free… I guarantee it!

Peace

When you establish your boundaries, and learn how to say NO, your mind will be at peace.  OK..OK… not immediately.  It takes practice LOL!  A lot of practice, but I promise the more you practice the easier those words will just flow from your lips.

Accountability

Setting boundaries and saying NO, allows you to put the accountability where it belongs.  Don’t let someone hold you or your feelings hostage. Put the accountability for “their” situation and their feelings where it belongs… with Them!  Learn to say this….“Your poor planning is not my emergency!” Ok, maybe not verbatim, but you get my drift here. Don’t take on other people’s problems. It’s like the little girl on Facebook that says, “Worry about yourself!” Try it and after a while you will experience advantages #1 & #2. I promise this is not selfishness, but self-preservation.

Resources

I’m not going to lie to you, this is a process that takes time, but it is worth it.  If you are looking for resources on how to establish boundaries, or if you’re not sure that you even have an issue with boundaries.  Check out the book by Henry Cloud and John Townsend entitled “Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life.”  This is a Christian book, but a good read for anyone really. I would also recommend a life coach or a counselor.  I have one and she is phenomenal and has made all the difference in this area of my life.

Happy New YOU and Happy New Year!!! 

I’m Pregnant!!!

I am Pregnant with the promises of GOD!  He told me so.  He redistributed by focus from the natural child I desire to have, to the life that is already growing inside of me in many forms.  I’m pregnant with businesses, a nonprofit organization, a novel and I’m sure that I will conceive many more babies in the future.

I am reminded that God’s timing is always perfect.  He knows what he is doing in my life and in him I will always put my trust.

Although I desire a child of my own,  my time has not yet come.  A Delay however, is not a Denial.  My father quietly said to me, “What about the other babies I’ve given you? Don’t forsake those children! You must be a mother and nurture those ideas I’ve put deep inside  your belly as well… so that you will be ready at the appointed time to give birth!!”

I am pregnant with a the promises of God.  EDD (Estimated Date of Delivery) to be determined…

But this is what I do know:

“Behold, he will do something in “me” at which both ears of everyone who hears it will tingle.”  1 Samuel 3:11

WHAT ARE YOU CARRYING INSIDE OF YOU!?!

No Fear, No Limits: Living a Life Without Regrets!!

Is there something that you’ve always wanted to do but never got around to it? Maybe you just haven’t built up the courage or nerve to try it yet.  Is it a new business? Would you like to travel to an exotic destination?  Buy your first home? Maybe you dream of parasailing or even skydiving?  Let me ask you a question…What’s holding you back? Is it Fear, Money, Time?

Let me encourage you to step out of your comfort zone and turn those possibilities into something real.  Into something that’s tangible gratifying and satisfying.  Hey, don’t just spend your life sitting on the sidelines of “I Wish I Could Avenue.”   I know you’ve all heard this saying before, but life is really too short not to live out your dreams and ambitions. As the good book so eloquently puts it: “The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life” (John10:10 NLT).

Here are some simple steps that can help you conquer your fears, live out your dreams and start putting some check marks on that bucket list of yours.  I hope this helps someone.

  1. Forget the “Naysayers”

You don’t need anyone’s permission to do what God has placed on your heart. In fact, the sooner you realize that you all are called to do something that is unique and specific to who you are as an individual, the better off you will be.  Never look for another person to validate what’s on your mind, in your heart and soul. After the all, the vision was given to you, so don’t seek the answers from naysayers, go to the source.

  1. Do something…Anything

Make the first step today.  Grab a notebook, do some brainstorming, conduct some research, read various books on the topic and by all means, decrease your social media and TV time.  Note, that none of the actions mentioned here requires any money, but is does require focus and dedicated time.  It’s important to know that no step is too small.  Each action you take gets you one step closer to achieving your goal.  Hey, you have to start somewhere!

  1. Don’t share your dreams with everyone

In other words: “Don’t waste what is holy on people who are unholy. Don’t throw your pearls to pigs! They will trample the pearls, then turn and attack you (Matthew 7:6, NLT). Do I need to explain any further? If you can’t help me fulfill it, provide me with valuable resources, or some encouragement; Nope, I’m not sharing an ounce of anything with you.  I hate Destiny Distractors.  Those people who are in your life who really have no value, but to tell you how you can’t, how expensive it is, and how crazy your idea maybe.  Please, don’t cast your pearls upon swine!  They don’t know what to do with such precious things.

  1. Find an accountability partner

Unlike the Destiny Distractor, this is the person who you know is going to encourage and support you.  In other words, if God said it, this friend will trust, agree and believe with you hands down!  Their genuinely happy to see good things happen to and for you. You’ll recognize this person as they are the ones sending you articles and connects to help you get that business started.  He/she is the friend that is going to hold you accountable. They will stop you from buying that Channel bag or fellas that expensive watch.  He/ she is the friend that is going to pick you up when you hear the many NO’s.  Your accountability partner is always going to stand by you with words of encouragement but also give you the truth as well.

  1. Look around you

Now that you have an Accountability Partner, and you got rid of your Naysayers and Destiny Distractors, you need to do a little more inventory. Who’s surrounding you?  If you can look around and everyone in your circle is doing what you’re doing, it may be time for some upgrades.  The people in our lives should challenge us, inspire us, and stretch us. You don’t have to get rid of your friends, but there is a saying that says: “Make new friends, but keep the old ones.  One is Silver and the other is Gold.”  Look at the change in your purse, are they all Silver?  You have to mix it up in order to get a new perspectives on life and its possibilities.

  1. Get your finances in order

Whatever it is you desire to do, whether it is to start a new business, or to travel; I’m sure it’s going to take some coins. Therefore, take some time and get your finances in order.  For instance, repair your credit, put yourself on a budget, or start a travel fund.  Honestly, I live by my budget.  I literally have a budget for everything I spend money on (I’ll do a blog on finances pretty soon). People often want to know how I travel as often as I do…simple, I budget. I know where my money is going before it even comes to me.  So, start budgeting and saving.

  1. Last, don’t be afraid to FAIL!

I took a leadership class with GE last year and I learned a valuable lesson.  FAIL equals: First Attempt In Learning! That little acronym set me free…. for real.  Don’t be afraid to FAIL guys.  There’s a learning curve to everything.  Fear is a crippling thing that can keep you down and on the sidelines.  Be a risk taker.  It’s better to first weigh your options and take the risk than to live in a constant state of mind of “I wonder what if.”  So, just go for it!

I hope this encourages someone to step out on Faith.

No Fear, No Limits: Living a Life Without Regrets,

TKD (The Kings Daughter)

Highlights from 2016

My 2016 began with me graduating from grad school, getting a job promotion and with marriage.  On February 12th, I married my most trusted confidant.  We celebrated our union last September with our family and friends in Orlando, Florida. This was one of the best days in my life.  It was a humbling experience to be in a room with my closest friends and family members who were genuinely happy for us.  Our circle is so small, but Its true, it’s not the quantity but the quality of people you allow to have a front row seat in your life.

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The Second highlight of 2016 would be some of  the trips I took around the world.  In 2016 I visited Dubai and two continents: South Asia and South Africa. Living in the Middle East has allowed my dreams of traveling not only to become a reality, but to also expand my horizons as I’m so close to places I never ever dreamed of visiting . 

Sri Lanka was very relaxing and very hot and humid.  The food was great and to my surprise I did not get sick ( I have a very weak stomach). In Sri Lanka, my husband and I took the time to learn about the culture and to meet some of the native people there as well.  Our accommodations were beautiful and we enjoyed the hospitality and the kindness of the people.  While I enjoyed our trip there and would recommend you visit; I must admit that having been to both Sri Lanka and Thailand, Thailand would be my first choice.   If you are interested in South Asia, look for my post about it Sri Lanka and Thailand where I will share pictures and talk about the places we visited.

 My 2016 ended with a trip to South Africa.  Let me say that South Africa was amazingly beautiful.  Although I didn’t get to sightsee much as I was there on business, I would definitely travel there again and take my time to visit various landmarks and to learn more about the people and culture. One Word to describe South Africa is Amazing!  Cape Town in particular blew me away with its beauty. See some of  my pictures below of the Cape and Johannesburg.

In 2017, I’m looking forward to more Traveling, Increase, Favor and Grace! I had a wonderful 2016 and I know my 2017 will be even better.

“Think on These Things”

With so much going on in the world today, I often find myself saddened with feelings of dispare and hopelessness.  Although I am currently living in the Middle East, I feel the hurt and the pain of what is going on stateside and around the world.  However, let me forewarn you….My goal in writing this post is not to discuss specific issues.  From what I’ve seen online thus far…many are not ready to have such discussions.  What we see happening around us is truly enough to pull and tear at the soul and heart of man.  It’s enough to keep you up at night and hold your children even tighter.   In having some time to reflect over the last week; I wanted to share my pearls of wisdom with you.  Today I’m writing this post to encourage you.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is fair, whatever is pure, whatever is acceptable, whatever is commendable, if there is anything of excellence and if there is anything praiseworthy—keep thinking about these things. (Philippians 4:8)
This is how I get through the day.   I think about what I know to be true, noble and commendable. Those things that make me feel good inside.  The things that make me smile and the jokes that bring tears to my eyes. The things I am most proud of, the friends and family who enrich my life, and my father who comforts me through it all.

Here’s is my list:

Commendable

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This is a picture of my nursing team.  This picture brings me joy because it gives me a feeling of accomplishment (especially because many said it couldn’t be done in such a short time): But on May 1st, 2016 this team under my leadership opened an OB Clinic in the State of Qatar.  What brings me even more joy is the diversity of the group and how we work together to provide the women of Qatar adequate healthcare.  Pictured here are 2 Americans, 1 Irish, 2 Qatari, 1 British, 1 South African and 2 Somalian nurses.

True


This picture for me is about sisterhood, love and friendship. The two ladies in this picture are not blood relatives but are like sisters to me.  The love, bond, and sacrifices we make and share for one another is something phenomenal.  This picture reminds me that friendship is important and good for the soul.  I am truly blessed to have such good friends in my life (many of whom are not pictured here).

Pure

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This little guy is my stepson who brings me much joy. He’s my cuddle buddy that always keeps a smile on my face. He gives me a glimpse into the world of motherhood and I can’t even imagine loving someone more than I love this little guy. He’s an extension of my husband that I am so happy to share and as I think about him growing up my heart gets filled with so much excitement.

Here’s The Challenge….

While you acknowledge those things that are happening around you, I challenge you to not let it consume you.  I challenge you to think about the things that make you feel proud, the things that make you smile, the things that make your day better and the things that bring you joy.  Share them with one another…share them with me if you like; but what ever you do, just “Think on These Things!”   I love to hear about the good people are doing in this world, the goals you are accomplishing and the things that fulfill your life. Please feel free to post pictures and comment on my blog or on my Facebook page.

From Miss to Mrs

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BEING SNGLE ISN’T SO BAD…BUT

A couple of years ago, I became very content with being a single woman.  I had a wonderful career, a beautiful home, great friends and I was determined to live my life to the fullest.  You see, love had failed me many many times and I had found that my father’s love was without flaw, and his covering provided me with the security of knowing that he would always provide for me.   However, I would be lying if I said that I did not desire a male companion to navigate through this life with.  After long days at work, I would often think to myself, how nice it would be to have someone to talk to, have dinner with, and to discuss the day’s politics.

HOW I MET MY HUSBAND

I know many are skeptical of online dating and rightfully so in todays world.  However, D and I are Christian Mingle success stories.  Yes, the “I want to fall in love with you”  Christian Mingle. We met online over 3 years ago, and what turn out first to be a friendship, blossomed into a wonderful relationship. I could write an entire blog post on the ups and downs…do’s and don’ts of online dating, but I’m afraid it wouldn’t be much help to you.  I say this because D was the “first” and “last” guy I met online, LOL! 

Honestly, when I first met my husband, I wasn’t looking to date or fall in love, I was looking for a friendship. Someone I could talk to and hang out with from time to time.  Flash forward to today and I can say that I got much more than a friend. He’s my biggest fan and cheerleader, the cause of my worst headaches, my confidant, best advice giver, and most of all he’s the one who loves me through it all.  Just let me say that I am quite a hand full.  

FROM MISS TO MRS

On February 12th, 2016 at the ripe age of 38, I married “The One.”  The one I survived all heartaches for.  The one I prayed for.  The one my father prepared me for.  It was simple, it was intimate and quick.  It was special.  What I love most about our love story, it that we took our time.  We did’t allow people or time to rush our process.  We got rid of the outside noise and influences and we focused on us. We built a foundation first and the rest came later so naturally.

LET’S CELEBRATE!

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Our Save the Date

 

On September 10th, 2016 D and  I will celebrate our marriage with our families and closest friends in Florida.  Although planning a reception from the Middle East has been somewhat challenging; we’re both excited to fly home and share our adventures with you and to celebrate with you all.

Love is a Journey…and it’s my pleasure to take this journey with you!!

The Daughter of a King

As I navigate through this life, I often find myself at various stages asking, “Lord who am I? What would you have me do in this life?” I would also wonder…” Will I be a Mother, a Wife, or Entrepreneur?” I really wanted to know God’s desire for my life.  As women, we have many roles and our hats are constantly changing.  It can become fairly easy to lose touch with who you truly are and who you were created to be.  I know for me, figuring out Sharmane became a source of distress at times because as I continue to grow and mature, my desires in life would often change. Even though I wanted to be successful in life, I only wanted to do that which pleased my Father most of all.  Then one morning, low and behold, a pearl of wisdom for my necklace of life……

Psalm 139:16-18

16 You saw me before I was born.  Every day of my life was recorded in your book.  Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. 17How precious are your thoughts of me, O God! They cannot be numbered! 18 I can’t even count them; they are more than the sand! And when I wake up, you are still with me!”

It was through this scripture, I realized 3 things: 1. My father holds the answer sheet regarding my life 2. My Father is always thinking of me, and 3. He is always at my side. So really, I don’t need all of the answers. At some point in my life, yes, I could possibly inhabit all of the titles above (Wife, Mother, Friend, Nurse, Business owner) and then some. However, there would be one title that would always be permanent, one that was established before my birth:  I would always be the Daughter of the King!

I am…We are Daughters of the King! Do you understand what that means? This means that no matter what role we find ourselves in, (forget about failure) we have the full assurance that we were destined for Greatness! Do we have all the answers? No. But you see, we don’t need them. The answers to your questions have already been prerecorded in your memoir… it’s predestined. So rest easy and walk into your destiny ladies.  Take the good with the bad and learn the lessons as you go. You can’t fail a test you’ve already passed! This is the privilege of being the King’s Daughter.

Welcome to My Blog!

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Welcome to my blog…The King’s Daughter! Thank You for visiting my page.  I’m often inspired to write about the things that enlighten me as I navigate through life.  The purpose of this blog is to share my life’s journey with you.   What I call, my “Pearls of Wisdom.”  My Pearls of Wisdom are simply those things that enlighten, inspire, and motivate me; as well as those things that can make my head spin and pull my hair out.  Life… is one big Lesson with several chapters.  Some lessons we repeat and others we master fairly quickly. No matter the circumstances, once your lesson is complete, you will find your pearl of wisdom to add to your necklace of life. Everyday I’m adding pearls to my necklace and I wear them proudly.  What about you?  Some are battered, others are flawed, and some are just pure perfection. Your pearls of past hurts, triumphs, failures, and victories make you who you are today.  Who are you? I am the Daughter of the King.

Stay tuned for my next post….The Daughter of a King!